Communication is vitally important because we’re so dang bad at reading our partner’s mind (until we’ve been married for many years, that is). The best marriages have a great deal of communication; the worst have little or none. But every aspect of a marriage requires communication in some form. When our emotions get fired up, we are quick to make assumptions based almost entirely on our own unrealistic thoughts about the situation. Most of the time, these assumptions are partially, if not completely, wrong.
Because thoughts shape behavior, communication skills shape how you interact with your partner. Authentic communication takes practice and more practice. But simply talking is not the same as communicating. True communication in a great marriage is a tw0-way conversation. Therefore, it takes practice from both people. However, you can only do your practicing and encourage your partner to do the same. It can be tricky when a partner doesn’t want to communicate, but that doesn’t mean the partner doesn’t want to solve the issue. It takes time, patience, and even great care to develop solid communication skills; it’s always a work in progress. But you can’t master something you’re not practicing, so how do you practice communication? The following five skills are essential for a happier marriage.
When you look all around you, do you see stacks of mail that need to be processed? Perhaps you’ve got books laying around along with a million miscellaneous scraps of paper with scribbled notes on them. Remember that thing you were going to fix that you put aside until you had more time…and now you’re tripping over it every day? Whether you want to be more disciplined, more organized, or just plain happier, clearing out the clutter and freshening up your environment will make a huge difference. In fact, you may not realize how much your psyche is affected by clutter and how different you can feel until it’s all gone.
Happiness Set Point is your overall happiness average. Imagine a graph that looks like a roller coaster; a line moves across the page dipping down and swinging back up, then dropping again. The high points are when you’re happiest. Obviously, the low points represent when you’re a bit depressed or just not really all that happy.
If happiness were for sale, how much would you be willing to pay for it? I’m not talking about a pill. Imagine buying a box, and when you open it, you would have instant lifelong happiness. Good deal? Maybe…
Recently, I had an unusual experience. I was at work and, for reasons I could only guess at, instead of feeling the effects of too much gravity and too little sleep, I was completely alert and steady. I had plenty of energy and also felt a greater level of focus than usual. The odd thing was, I wouldn’t have known that my level of focus (or my clarity of mind) was running higher than its usual level until I experienced this unexpected contrast.
By the time I graduated from high school, society had already drilled into my head the importance of money. Making plans after high school, whether I went to college or not, revolved around getting a job that paid well. In fact, this was such a high priority that it almost didn’t matter what kind of job I got, as long as it paid well. Of course, having no practical job experience meant getting a job that paid next to nothing.
Hi, I'm Scott and I have a passion for helping people change how they see things. Few people really understand how thinking and behavior affects their lives and motivation. That's where I come in. I help people make that connection. I'd like to show you how simple adjustments in your thinking can make your life better.
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