You’re Not Responsible for Their Happiness

Guilt has a sneaky way of weaseling into hidden areas of your life. Are you doing things out of guilt? Do you feel obligated to participate in certain events or activities and feel guilty if you don't? Ever feel like you're being dumped on, like everybody wants something from you and you're always so busy trying to make everybody else happy, that you never have time to do things that make you happy? From a very early age, we learn how important it is to please everybody else. If you do … [Read more...]

The Right Attitude For Finding A Job You Actually Like

NOTE: While this article was written using a backdrop of finding a job you like, the essence of what you are about to read applies to finding a great relationship, and, actually, just about every aspect of life. So read it with that awareness. If you ever hope to have a job you love, there are some fundamental things that you're going to need to change about yourself before it can ever happen. Even if you manage to fool your way into an incredible job that you totally love, you will eventually … [Read more...]

A Simple Way To Transform Your Life

There are some themes that I write about again and again because I know the power behind them. Whether you're just starting a journey of self-improvement or you've been fine-tuning your life for years, transformation isn't random, it's definite. I know that how good or how bad you feel about your life comes down to a couple of key concepts which influence every aspect of who you are, the choices you make, and how you live. When you are trying to make changes in your life, there are two core … [Read more...]

5 Essential Communication Skills For A Happier Marriage

Communication is vitally important because we're so dang bad at reading our partner's mind (until we've been married for many years, that is). The best marriages have a great deal of communication; the worst have little or none. But every aspect of a marriage requires communication in some form. When our emotions get fired up, we are quick to make assumptions based almost entirely on our own unrealistic thoughts about the situation. Most of the time, these assumptions are partially, if not … [Read more...]

30-Day Challenge: Declutter Your Life

When you look all around you, do you see stacks of mail that need to be processed? Perhaps you've got books laying around along with a million miscellaneous scraps of paper with scribbled notes on them. Remember that thing you were going to fix that you put aside until you had more time...and now you're tripping over it every day?  Whether you want to be more disciplined, more organized, or just plain happier, clearing out the clutter and freshening up your environment will make a huge … [Read more...]

FYI: Happiness Set Point

Happiness Set Point is your overall happiness average. Imagine a graph that looks like a roller coaster; a line moves across the page dipping down and swinging back up, then dropping again. The high points are when you're happiest. Obviously, the low points represent when you're a bit depressed or just not really all that happy. As with graphs that chart trends, your happiness set point sometimes trends upward, trends downward, or may stay mostly the same over time. We all face challenging … [Read more...]

For Sale: Happiness

If happiness were for sale, how much would you be willing to pay for it? I'm not talking about a pill. Imagine buying a box, and when you open it, you would have instant lifelong happiness. Good deal? Maybe... Suppose it was really expensive, say $500...maybe $1,000, or even $10,000, would you pay it? How much you're willing to pay might be determined by how unhappy you are to begin with. If you're desperately miserable, you might pay anything for some relief. What if you took the box … [Read more...]

An Accidental Experiment In Elevating Happiness

Recently, I had an unusual experience. I was at work and, for reasons I could only guess at, instead of feeling the effects of too much gravity and too little sleep, I was completely alert and steady. I had plenty of energy and also felt a greater level of focus than usual. The odd thing was, I wouldn't have known that my level of focus (or my clarity of mind) was running higher than its usual level until I experienced this unexpected contrast. When something unusual happens, I like to … [Read more...]